Happy Lifeday Tycho Celchu!
by ladymorgaine76
Summary: It's Tycho's lifeday and what better to do, than play a prank on the unsuspecting Alderaanian? Of course, Wes' plans sometimes backfire...


The lights on the _Home_ _One'_ s dormitory corridors were dimmed to a minimum, being on the night cycle, and everything was quiet…

Just like Wes Janson needed!

It was the dawn of Tycho Celchu's twenty-second lifeday, and his suspicious nature drove him to make a thorough search through his and Janson's stuff.

The first one, to make sure he hadn't rigged something on his footlocker.

The second, to be sure Wes didn't have any prank material with him.

And then he'd spend the rest of the evening pretty much shadowing him, so he couldn't plan anything…

Which was the reason Wes was on the corridor, trying to open _his own_ quarters' door without making a sound.

He had waited patiently for Tycho to fall asleep, even snoring convincingly so, the Alderaanian believed he was sleeping. Then he'd gotten away from his bed, tiptoeing out of there to fetch the stuff he'd hidden somewhere else.

Sliding silently through the door and locking it gently, the Taanabian crept to Tycho's footlocker switching his shampoo bottle by an identical he had with him.

At first it all looked the same. It even smelled the same.

It just had a _very_ different purpose!

Now, all he had to do was wait until the morning…

Taking a glance at Tycho, he smiled as his squadmate snored softly, while mumbling almost inaudible things.

The Taanabian got back to his own bed. He could hardly wait for tomorrow!

Tycho woke up as the day cycle initiated and the usual service calls echoed through the cruiser's corridors.

He looked to the bed on the other side of his shared quarters, letting out a sigh of relief when he noticed Janson still asleep.

He wasn't taking the chance of leaving Wes unsupervised! He still remembered what happened to Hobbie on the Raltiirian's lifeday…

He wasn't really in the mood to find his X-Wing rigged with small paint bombs, and come out looking like a walking rainbow!

"Hey, Wes! Wake up, man… I wanna go have a shower before breakfast." He shook Wes lightly.

The Taanabian blinked twice, grumbling as he tried focusing his eyes on his friend.

"Sithspawn, Tych!" He sat on the bed, rubbing his eyes. "What do you want? For me to rub your back, wash your hair or hold the kriffin' towel for ya?"

Tycho gave him a lopsided grin.

"No!" He raised his eyebrows. "I need to leave you with Wedge, so he can babysit you!"

"Your trust in me, is moving…" Wes scoffed. Of course, what he didn't know was that the prank he was trying to escape, was already ensured! Wes tried to hide a satisfied smile when he saw Tycho packing his pouch with the hygiene items, including the 'special shampoo'...

"Oh, I do trust you! But on other matters, and _not_ on my lifeday." He patted Wes' shoulder.

After a couple of minutes, they were ready to leave.

"You know," Wes started. "You don't have to be such a pain in the ass about this… I also want to have a quick shower. It's not like I'll prank you from my own shower…"

"I'm still comming Wedge, so he'll keep you under control."

Wes grumbled the whole way, but he was giggling inside…

Sitting on the bench Wedge kept throwing dirty looks at Tycho.

"Explain to me again why we have to take turns on the shower..?"

"So Wes doesn't leave our sights!" Tycho said. "I am not taking the chance that guy will do something. Sometimes I wonder how he passed the tests to become a pilot! I mean, half of his brain doesn't work…" He chuckled.

"I heard that!" A complaining voice came from the shower cabin in front of them.

"We know!" Both pilots hollered, obviously amused.

The cabin door opened and Wes appeared in front of them, a towel wrapped around his waist and another on his hands as he rubbed his hair vigorously. The crisp white of the towel, contrasted with the deep tan of his skin.

Tycho kept a straight face, as he relished on the vision of Wes' muscular body. Water droplets drizzled through the soft curls on his chest, all the way to his defined abdomen, right into his navel… and beyond!

There was something about that thin line of hair, that trailed from the Taanabian's navel all the way down to… well...down there… that messed with his mind.

But there was no way in hell Tycho was going to let that obnoxious man, realise he was going nuts about him!

Wes grabbed his uniform, stepping into the changing cabin, removing the towel just as he was going in. Enough to allow a quick gaze at his rear end…

Tycho suppressed a moan at that sight, and Wedge pretended he hadn't noticed a damn thing about the Alderaanian's reaction!

"Get a move on, Wes!" Wedge protested. "I'm starving here…"

"I'm going, I'm going…" Wes bit back.

Finally, he was ready and the two men left, leaving only Tycho on the showers.

He took his time, taking advantage of the fact that they had actual hot water on the _Home_ _One_ , and not the usual grey water or the unanimously hated sonic showers.

After a long relaxing shower, the Alderaanian dried himself and got his uniform on… and that's when he noticed a detail about the towel he'd dried his hair on: it was stained with sparkly purple stains!

" _Oh, no.."_

He stepped in front of one of the mirrors available.

Tycho gasped in horror! His hair was completely purple… and sparkly!

He looked at his hands and opened his jacket. His skin was normal…

"I'm gonna kill him… he's so dead!" He growled to himself. Going for his pouch, Tycho took out the bottle of shampoo, getting some on his hand. On first sight, it looked completely normal. But Wes had managed to mix some dye on it! Probably a thermal hair dye, that got activated by the hot water…

And now, he had to go to the mess looking like that!

"How I hate that man…"

Everyone on the pilots' mess froze, as Tycho made his appearance. He threw them a cold glare, that made the majority get back to their food.

On the Rogues' table, his squadmates were trying not to burst out laughing and everyone was looking at Wes.

The Alderaanian took his tray of food and sat down across Wes. He glared at him, but remained silent.

"Oooh, you're so dead!" Hobbie snorted.

"New style, Tych?" Wes asked, nonchalant

Tycho dropped his spoon on the tray, squinting at his squadmate.

"Don't play innocent with me, Wes! I know it was you!"

Wes batted his eyelashes playfully at Tycho, offering him a devilish smile.

"Now, now…"He countered calmly. "How could it have been me, if you've been breathing down my neck since yesterday morning?"

"I don't know how… I don't care how…" Tycho whispered, his voice inexpressive and his ice-blue eyes aiming at Wes' golden-brown ones. "What I know, is that it _was you!_ "

"Now what?" Wedge asked, holding a giggle. "You're going to walk around with purple hair?"

"I tried washing it off again, with the shower gel. But it didn't come off." Tycho huffed frustrated, still glaring at Wes.

The Taanabian couldn't hold it any longer, swallowing his food before erupting in laughter.

"I'm going to shoot you!" Tycho grumbled.

"You wouldn't dare!" The other man taunted him.

"Besides," Luke made himself heard for the first time, since Tycho's arrival at the table. "If you shoot him, I have to file a report. Then, I need to request bacta treatment for him. Unless you shoot him just a bit too hard! In that case, I'll have to file a full criminal report _and_ write to his family!" He enumerated. "I really don't want to spend the rest of the week around datapads. So, if you could avoid that…"

"Can I stun him?" Tycho asked.

"Sure!" Luke smiled.

"Hey!" Wes whined. "That's not fair!"

The other Rogues looked at him.

"Shut up Wes!" They yelled at him.

For the rest of the day, the three Rogues kept having to deal with the constant bickering between Tycho and Wes. Though the Taanabian promised he wasn't going to pull any other stunt on his friend.

Still, Tycho kept sending him dirty glares that had in them an obvious vow for revenge…

Thankfully, they kept their squabbling outside duty, which was a relief for Luke, not having to worry about the Alderaanian mistakenly grazing Wes' snubfighter with a small dose of friendly fire, just to get him on edge!

After dinner, it seemed that all had been forgotten. Tycho was again on a good mood…

… And _that_ should have tipped them off!

"Hey, Wes!" Tycho called him, sounding upbeat.

"What now?" The Taanabian looked sideways at his squadmate. He didn't usually forgot about his pranks so soon…

"I got something for you!" He announced cheerfully.

Wedge, Luke and Hobbie turned back to the other two men in expectation.

"You...have something...for me…" Wes repeated, suspicious of the, now, purple haired Alderaanian.

"Yeah! I have this!"

Wes gaped, looking down.

Tycho was pointing his blaster at him…

"You wouldn't…" He faltered.

" Don't worry laser-brain." Tycho kept smiling. "It's only set for stun… low powered!"

Wes squinted at him, opening his mouth to protest. But whatever he was planning to say, it died on his lips as a light blue flash rendered him unconscious. He slipped like a rag doll to the duracrete floor, while the other pilots looked incredulously at Tycho.

"Help me out here, will you?" He signalled his friends.

"Wasn't that a bit overkill?" Wedge asked him, still surprised with Tycho's actions.

Hobbie stepped forward, with Luke on tow. Each one grabbed a leg. "You're gonna get an earful when this guy wakes up!" The Raltiirian said.

Tycho chuckled as he and Wedge grabbed Wes' arms.

"Oh, it's going to be worse than that!"

"That's my sentence, smartass!" Hobbie admonished him. "You don't get to use it."

"Just help me carry Wes to our quarters…"

"Stang! He's heavy!" Wedge growled.

The pilots carried their squadmate all the way to the bedroom, where they dropped him on the bed. Wedge and the other two pilots were heading to the exit, when Tycho called them back.

"Where are you guys going? I'm not done yet!" He smiled at them. "Hobbs, hand me that green bag on my footlocker . Wedge, help me out here. We need to take his clothes off…"

Wedge glanced at Tycho, as if the Alderaanian had gone mad.

"We need what?!

Tycho ignored him, turning his attention to Hobbie and Luke.

"I need you and Luke to store every piece of Wes' clothes on his footlocker, and then take the foot locker to the Rogues' meeting room."

"He's gonna kill you!" Luke warned him.

"If I have to walk around with purple hair, he's gonna have to come beg for me to return his clothes!"

"You're crazy, you know that?"

"Thanks Luke! I've been learning with 'prank-master' here!"

Hobbie and Luke grabbed Wes' uniform, that was now scattered on the floor, closed the footlocker, and lifted it, disappearing from the bedroom.

Wes lied unconscious, with only his briefs, on his bed.

"What now?" Wedge asked.

Tycho opened the bag, showing its contents to the Corellian pilot.

Wedge looked wide-eyed into the bag.

"You've got to be joking!" He laughed at his friend.

"And that's not all!" He took out a small black box, showing it with a triumphant smile.

"Sithspit! This is gonna be fun. You'll be dead!... But it will be fun!"

His vision was blurred and his mind felt hazy. He also felt his mouth dry.

Flashes of memory of what happened came to him…

He'd been stunned!

Tycho had stunned him!

He was going to have some serious words with that guy!

Wes sat on the bed and tried to get on his feet.

"Woooah…Ouch!"

Suddenly, the Taanabian found himself on the floor. Managing to press the button on his nightstand, the lights came on, and he finally understood his awkward difficulty of mobility...

The first thing he saw was his feet, - he had black high heeled shoes on - but that wasn't the worse! Oh, no! He saw sparkly purple fabric, covering his legs to his calf!

He stretched out his arms, to find the same thing covering them.

Grunting as he removed the shoes so he could stand up, Wes Janson went into the refresher. Once inside he looked in the mirror…

"Ahhh, for Kriff's sake!" He yelled at the figure reflected there. "I am going to kill Tycho!"

The part where he was wearing a long dress, was already evident… the whole thing had the same colour of the tint he'd chosen for Tycho's hair. How he'd gotten hold of this in such a short time, was beyond him! The damn thing even had a cleavage!

But that? The figure he presented in the mirror?

Tycho had put full make up on him!

Grumbling and cursing in a mix of Basic and Old Taanabian, Wes left the refresher.

On the room, he noticed instantly that his footlocker was missing.

Tycho hadn't left him anything else to wear…

Gathering whatever was left of his dignity, Wes took the shoes and left the quarters.

He could guess exactly where the Alderaanian was!

Huffing, frustrated, he strode to the Rogues meeting room.

At the door he could hear his squadmates' laughter. Of course they would all be there! That was Tycho's purpose!

The Rogues and the Renegades were all there… Commander Narra included!

He took a deep breath, and out of defiance, he put the shoes on, opened the door and walked confidently towards the center of the room, where Tycho was, sitting on top of Wes' footlocker!

The Alderaanian had a cocky smile on his lips and it was evident he'd been waiting for him…

"Well, well...look what the kitten dragged in!" He sniggered. "I thought you weren't joining the party!"

"Very funny…" Wes snorted. "You realize you're dead?"

"Don't be such a baby, Wes...,"

"A baby? A baby? Look!" He circled his face. "This… is ridiculous...And the kriffin dress too!"

"Matches my hair! Since you're responsible for this," He pointed at his hair. "I got you back with that!"

Wes squinted at his squadmate, but deep inside his initial outrage was washing away.

Tycho had spent the whole day plotting a revenge, and he'd done it spectacularly so!

Half of him was still annoyed, but the other half was proud!

"I hate you…" He gave up, slumping his shoulders.

Tycho smiled widely at his friend, offering him his hand.

"No, you don't…"

Wes glanced him sideways, shaking his head. He took his hand, shaking it and pulling him from the top of the footlocker.

"You're still buying me lum, since you're the lifeday boy!"

"Aren't you going to change first?"

"Sithspit, no! I'm gonna make a fool of myself, and embarrass you at your lifeday celebration!"

The pilots started laughing, and Luke appeared at their side with two bottles of lum.

"Let's get properly drunk, so tomorrow we don't remember Wes' sparkly dress…" Luke handed them the lum and turned their squadmates.

"Too late Boss…" Hobbie whined. "That's an image that will haunt us until the end of our days!"

Lieutenant Ketku turned the music louder, and the party finally started!

It was almost dawn, when the last people left Tycho's lifeday celebration.

Tycho was already asleep on one of the makeshift couches they'd arranged from crates and old mattresses.

Wes walked towards him, with a satisfied look on his face. He'd even forgotten about the dress and the shoes!

He'd done it!

He'd taken Tycho's mind away from the first anniversary of Alderaan's destruction…

Being aboard the _Home One_ on that specific date and being away from the Alderaanian community, left back on Thilla, had been eating away at his friend. So, obviously, he had to do something!

Tycho getting back at him that fast, had been a surprise! But at least he'd had fun doing that too, so it was a bonus…

"Wake up, Tych." He leaned over, whispering.

The Alderaanian yawned, opening his eyes.

"Heeeey…" He slurred. "I feel queasy."

"Alderaanians can't hold their liquor." Wes chucked. "Come on, kid. I'll take you to our quarters." He said, helping him up.

" I'm not a kid...I'm...I'm twoooeeentytwoooo…"

"And you're also wasted! Shut up." Wes admonished him gently.

"It waaas a nice paarty." Tycho beamed, letting out a hiccup.

"Yeah, it was! Ladies dress and all" He said as Tycho giggled. "Tych?"

"hmmm?"

"Happy lifeday, kiddo!"


End file.
